Lessons to Remember

On an extremely frigid winter day, a little bird flying south got so cold that it froze in the air and fell to the ground -- landing in a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. Soon, the bird began to realize that he was warming up, that he was actually thawing out, and he started to sing for joy.  But a cat heard the singing, followed the sound and found the bird under the pile of cow dung. Then, the cat promptly dug the bird out and ate him.

So remember that not everyone who sh*** on you is your enemy, not  everyone who gets you out of sh** is a friend and it's best to keep your mouth shut when you're in deep sh**.

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One afternoon, while a turkey was chatting with a bull, the big bird said wistfully,  "I'd love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, try nibbling on some of my droppings," the bull suggested. "They're packed with nutrients."So the turkey pecked at a small lump of dung, and found it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating more, he reached the second branch. Finally after one more night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. But a farmer promptly spotted the turkey and shot him out of the tree. 
 Moral: Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.--

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A small rabbit saw an eagle sitting near the top of a tree. He was resting, doing nothing."Can I sit like you and do nothing?" the rabbit asked."Sure, why not," the eagle answered.So, the rabbit sat on the ground below and rested.Bu then, suddenly, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. 
Moral: To sit and do nothing, you must be very, very high up. 

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As Mrs. Jones was drying off after a shower, she heard the doorbell and foolishly rushed downstairs and opened the door even though she was still only wrapped in the towel. It was Bob, a next-door neighbor, who told her instantly  that he'd give her $800 to take off the towel. After pausing a moment, she did it. Bob stared a few seconds, gave her a handful of cash and walked off. As she headed back to the bathroom upstairs, her husband in the kitchen asked who rang the bell. She replied "just Bob" and her husband quickly called out, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" 

A less than pious priest was driving to church one morning and saw a nun waiting at a bus stop, so he offered her a ride. Soon after she got in, he noticed that she sat with her legs crossed, partially exposing one under her gown. Thinking she might be tempting him, the priest reached out and touched the leg. "Remember Psalm 129?" the nun asked. The priest quickly removed his hand and apologized, saying "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the church, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. The priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." 
     Moral: If you're not well informed in your job, you can miss a great opportunity.